Forgiveness Part 3: Letting Go

Forgiveness Part 3 of 4

by Dana McGee, CIT

Sometimes even the smallest hurts can gnaw at our souls and suck the life out of us. Small infractions still have the ability to eat at us causing anxiety, hurt, and resentment. Regardless of the size of the hurtful act, we should practice letting go and forgiving if we ever truly want to find peace within ourselves. Leviticus 19:18 says “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord."

When learning to let go, the Mayo clinic suggests to assess and acknowledge the situations and the wrongs against us and evaluate how it has impacted ourselves and others. We should take time to inventory the situation and examine what we have learned from it. Even if the person we forgive does not change, we can still do it. But doesn’t forgiving mean we are condoning bad behavior? Absolutely not! Sometimes letting go and forgiving is not telling someone you forgive them. While this is not discouraged if God is telling you they need to know, sometimes saying this in person can cause more harm than good for the situation. Forgiveness can be in our thought and in our prayer. 

While participating in Al-Anon, my sponsor and I were working on step 4 (searching and fearless moral inventory). She gave me a task to work on while we completed this part of the program. She wanted me to make a list of EVERY person who has hurt me who I still held grudges against and struggled to forgive. While working the program she told me to pray for those people every single day until I felt that I forgave them. When I asked her how I would know when I forgave them, she told me I would feel peace within myself when I prayed for them. Some stayed on the list longer than others and there are times I pray for new people. I even appear on the list….multiple times (I’m still learning). While practicing this technique I have found a few things. If I am angry at someone or they hurt me, it does not take nearly as much praying to find peace. It is not often that there are additions to the list. Bad behavior is still identified, not accepted, and learned from.